freak42 (freak42) wrote,
freak42
freak42

Pointless Post

Well this is my first post here in 5 months so if you haven't figured out that I kind of abandoned LJ well... then you probably just didn't care that I did. I'm not sure what compelled me to hop back on here today other than I took a sick day and am kind of bored. I don't know what this post is meant to do, too much has been going on to really do much of an update and even if I did one I'd just fall behind insanely once again.

I'm just kind of rambling at this point. This whole thing has sort of turned into a stream of conciousness post even though I didn't mean for it to be. But then if it can't be that what's the point of it being anything? Didn't kind of say that already? I'm afraid this whole thing is just going to keep circling back on itself. I wonder if I should edit this when I'm done or just post it as it comes out. I mean editing a stream of conciousness sort of defeats the point. But at the same time it might just save me from looking like a babbling idiot. Then again who babbles in text? Nevermind, it just occured to me that is what pretty much every member of Twitter is doing. How the hell do people find the time to update that stuff so much? I mean sometimes I'll have thoughts I wouldn't mind sharing but for me at least it takes way too much effort to actually stop the thought process (and whatever I'm physically doing) to get it put up on Twitter. Probably doesn't help that I haven't figured out how to do it from my phone yet. No I'm not a tech moron... well I am a little bit sometimes, but in this case I just really never bothered to try to figure it out.

Damn I'm typing pretty fast. I didn't think I'd ever get used to this laptop keyboard. Feels surprisingly natural now. I think I might be doing this just to procrastinate. I have movie reviews I should be doing (I need to get one for "Up" done and I really should go back and do "Get Smart" as well). My motivation really does fluxuate to much. I think that's the biggest lingering factor of my ADD, it's not short term loss of attention it's a bit more large scale. For a few months I'll put alot of effort into one of my many interests. Maybe for a few months I'll work on writing stories. Then after that I'll really keep up with the movie reviews for pictureshowpundits.com (yes I'm plugging myself even in stream of conciousness, how's that for shameless self promotion). Then I might focus on really promoting myself as a performer and working on new numbers. Or it might just be totally frivolous like racking up my post count on doctorwhoforum.com (which is shutting down in a few months GOD DAMN IT!).

It's funny how much time we spend on crap that doesn't matter. But then what does matter? Isn't that something that's completely subjective and we decide for ourselves. Yes I know there's the stuff society has told us must matter, money, family and so on. But ultimately we all choose what it is that we feel matters. Obviously I've chosen that this blog doesn't really matter to me. Not relatively anyways. I mean I've got three myspaces, a facebook, two e-mails and now a flickr account and I don't even distribute time on those evenly. Should I simplify? Or just prioritize? But when everything's frivolous isn't prioritizing it sort of arbitrary?

I wonder if I'm spelling all these big words correctly? Maybe I should run this through a spell check before I post it. Nah if I do that I know I'll start editing it and I think I've made up my mind that I'm not going to do that. Though it wouldn't hurt me to edit more often in general. Not just with blog stuff but e-mails, myspace comments and creative writing. Not that I write stuff I don't mean or can't censor myself or anything like that. I'm just too lazy to go back to something after the first draft. That's probably why none of my stories will ever see print, I get bored out of mind going back and refining them. Hello ADD again. Oh well, at the same time I think that ADD is part of what has allowed me as many interests as I have and I kind of like the little taste of everything I've got going.

I think I'm going to cut it off there, just seems like the right place.
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